New Mommy

So this post is long over-due, by about a month, but being a new mom makes me quite a busy girl. I had my daughter on Oct. 16th 2014 and she is such an amazing baby. She was very alert right out of the womb, and has proven to be the most opinionated newborn I have ever met. I have helped friends and family members take care of their newborns and she is quite different than they were. I love it! Even though it can make things more challenging at times. Some days I can get things done almost like normal around the house, and other days I can barely get anything done. She has not been feeling well lately, and needs to be comforted with snuggles most of the time. I can't lay her down for a nap on those days, I have to hold her so she can sleep. It started with the 3 week growth spurt (growing pains), and this week she has a bit of a cold. Unfortunately, she is too young for any cold medicine.

I confess I was not fully prepared for the difference between helping someone else with a newborn, and having my own. Pregnancy brain, as it turns out, takes some time to wear off after giving birth. And it's easier to panic when something happens with your own baby that you aren't expecting. Like when she cries and decides to hold her breath. I know to blow in her face, and I do, but it freaks me out so much more than it ever has before. Babies are scary little creatures! I love her so dearly, though. She is the most amazing little being ever.

Pregnancy Update

I am about 27 weeks along now, and the baby and I are doing great! My boyfriend and I are getting more and more excited as the due date gets closer. I've been prepping the house with more "homey touches" and we continue to grow closer and refine our skills of communication. I had lost all imagination that I would be building a family with someone at this age, and this place in my life, but I am very happy to be wrong :)

Best 3rd Trimester Pregnancy Workout at Home

Denise Austin: Prenatal Cardio Workout- Fit & Firm Pregnancy

The first pic is before. The rest are after.

Pregnant Goth Update

I am now about 22 weeks along (about 5 months) and people can finally tell I am pregnant by looking at me. I am a petite woman and as much as I could tell, it was hard for others to really tell until the last few weeks. Mostly other women. They kept saying I was so tiny still, barely showing. Compared to the rock-hard abs I am used to, it was quite noticeable to me and my boyfriend. Other guys noticed before the women I know did, lol. I guess women compare pregnant women's bodies to their bodies when they were pregnant. Men notice right away when a woman's physique changes. I will post a picture in another entry. If I can figure out how to transfer the pictures on my phone, I will post a before and after. I am technically challenged, so we will see.

The baby is pretty active as of the last month. I started feeling movement a little before most people do. I am more in tune to what is happening in my body in general, so it doesn't surprise me. It's really cool and very strange to feel a little life moving in my belly. I find out on Thursday if it's a boy or girl. Whichever it is, my little one responds to my voice already. And to her father's presence when we cuddle. It's amazing. Weird. I said she. Before this month, I kept saying "he" when I accidentally applied a pronoun. I have been pretty sure it's a boy, but the way I am carrying now looks more like a girl. If any women read this, I am pretty sure they will understand what I mean.

That is all I have to share for now. Thank you for reading :)

Same Dark Soul, New Nurturing Mind

Hello blogger land! I haven't had anything to write about for quite some time now. Life was simply taking it's course, and I think a break from writing was good for me. You will find that my mindset is quite different now. I am in a relationship that is going well so far, and seems to be serious. In fact, I am expecting a baby. Strange concept for me. Exciting, though. I am 17 weeks along and feeling much more alive than I did in the first trimester. I was sick a lot. Not nearly as sick as other women in my family got during pregnancy, though. So I am thankful for that. The sick I felt was bad enough. And I worked through most of it. I only called in to work a few times, though I felt like calling in every day.

It's very profound what being pregnant does to a dark soul. I live for this tiny being growing inside of me. To protect it at all costs. The only thing that matters as much to me is the love between me and my boyfriend, and preserving it. The tigress in me comes out stronger than ever when it comes to my new little family. I have gone from hating everyone and everything, to having an inextinguishable love for the few I hold dear to my heart. My life revolves around being everything they need, and they are everything I need.