Losing . . . New Year's . . . . . Mornings

I find myself losing my sense of loyalty. If someone isn't showing that I am as important to them, as they are to me, I simply stop caring. If they don't find it important enough to tell me plans have changed, or even for sure if there are plans or not, why should I find it important to tell them, "This isn't working for me." ? They will figure it out on their own eventually, right? That's what they seem to expect of me, so why not?

I hardly ever see this person anyway. They are always gone doing something. We've know each other for a few months now and can still count the number of times we've seen each other on one hand. The first 3 times were right in a row and that was when we first met and were just friends. The third day it turned into a little more. The 1 time after that, it turned into friends with benefits and we had tentative New Year's Eve plans. Plans which were never confirmed nor denied, so I made other tentative plans. This person did call on New Years Eve, but I was in the shower and they didn't leave a voice mail. I returned the call anyway. No answer. About an hour later, I sent a text trying to find out what the call was about. I believe it was an hour after that when they texted back. No mention of the tentative plans. They just wanted to know what I was doing.

Unfortunately, the other tentative plans didn't happen either. I wasn't feeling well by then, so I was okay watching Enchanted at home. I had already started deciding the friend with benefits wasn't going to work much longer. We were supposed to see each other soon after the last time we saw each other, but some family stuff came up. (Grandparents/Parents kind of stuff. I'm not "the other woman", sheesh!) I might have never known, had I not texted him to find out if we were still going see each other.

I don't want to be someone's afterthought. Just something fun to think about when they aren't busy living life. I want someone who wants me to be part of their life. From the first cup of coffee in the morning, to the last kiss just before we fall asleep in each other's arms at night. Not that I want to spend every single moment of everyday together. Aside from work hours, it's good to have some time with friends or to one's self sometimes. I just want someone I am happy to wake up with in the morning. Someone who is equally happy to wake up with me.