As you can tell from my entries, doing the right things in a relationship does not always ensure that it will last. Sometimes we just aren't meant for the person we fall in love with. Or they aren't meant for us. It still hurts, but we can learn from the experience. Make a list (either mentally or literally) of both the things you gained from the relationship, and the things you learned you could live without. In moving forward, remind yourself what things you could have done differently, and what you desire from your next relationship. Then, look for those qualities in your next potential partner, and cultivate the qualities you need to be successful the next time around.
Personally, I am working on defining myself outside of a relationship and work. I have a habit of letting my relationship and job be the definition of who I am. I am nearly 32, and realizing that is what I have done all my life, I want to change that. I am searching for the person I truly am, without the outside influences. That doesn't mean I am not trying to figure out where to find a job. . . I really miss working. It simply means that I will try my best not to let it be my defining point in life.
I hope these posts are helpful to someone out there. If nothing else, I hope it is reassuring that you are not the only one. Blessed be your personal journey.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Love Is Not Enough
With as many failed relationships as I have had, I can honestly say that they all started with love, and ended quite differently. No matter how much love used to be there, the reality of our differences quickly dissolved all hope of making it last. This begs the question: Why is it that I attract, and am attracted to, people who simply are not a good fit for me? Loving someone is such a huge risk! I still have the dream of someday being married, but I, now in my 30s, have to wonder if it will ever happen. Will I ever find the one person who fits into my life and has the same level of love and commitment that I do? I want to marry once and forever. Maybe that just isn't possible anymore.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Yummiest Smoothie Ever!!!
Looking for a quick, delicious dessert without the guilt? You just found it!
1 cup chopped strawberries
3 Tblsp vanilla Greek yogurt (it's fat-free!)
1 Tblsp raw sugar
1 tsp key lime juice
1/4 cup milk (any kind, it's only a 1/4 of a cup!)
Blend until smooth and creamy!
1 cup chopped strawberries
3 Tblsp vanilla Greek yogurt (it's fat-free!)
1 Tblsp raw sugar
1 tsp key lime juice
1/4 cup milk (any kind, it's only a 1/4 of a cup!)
Blend until smooth and creamy!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
How To Keep Your Dream Girl
Now that you have a relationship with your dream girl, let's discuss how to take it to the next level. How do you keep your relationship strong? How do you secure her heart for your own?
Rule #11: Make Sure She Feels Loved
Remind her on occasion how much you appreciate her. Tell her what you enjoy about being with her. Tell her if you notice positive changes in yourself that were inspired by your mutual love. Or maybe there are changes you have noticed in her that you find appealing. She needs some indication that you see your relationship progressing and that it means something to you.
Rule #12: Honesty Is Vital
Try not to be rude, or too blunt, but don't sugar coat things so much that the real message is lost. If there's something on your mind or hers, it needs to be openly discussed. Even if it does not directly involve your relationship, it can still effect your relationship. For instance, if one of you is having issues at work, the stress can spill over into your relationship. Let her know about your stresses and successes at work. And allow her to feel comfortable doing the same.
Rule #13: 2 Minds Are Better Than 1
When decisions are made, whether big or small, it is best to consult each other and be on the same page. This will get easier as time goes on and you are more in tune with each other. You may eventually be able to speak on each other's behalf on occasion, knowing their tastes as well as your own.
Rule #14: Nobody Is Perfect
It is unrealistic to expect that your relationship will be perfect, since it is made up of two imperfect people. It is how you deal with each other's imperfections that determines the longevity of your relationship. It is likely that your strengths are her weaknesses and your weaknesses, her strengths. This is ideal, actually. It means you balance each other out.
Rule #15: Treasure Your Love
True love is a rare diamond that is not only hard to find, it is hard to hold on too. Just as a diamond needs to be polished and cared for, so too does your love. Anniversaries are milestones in your life together. Make the most of them by reflecting on what you love about each other, and your life together.
These rules only work if the love between you is mutual, equal, and reasonable. What starts out as attraction, can lead to a happy lifetime of love. You just need to know what path to take.
Rule #11: Make Sure She Feels Loved
Remind her on occasion how much you appreciate her. Tell her what you enjoy about being with her. Tell her if you notice positive changes in yourself that were inspired by your mutual love. Or maybe there are changes you have noticed in her that you find appealing. She needs some indication that you see your relationship progressing and that it means something to you.
Rule #12: Honesty Is Vital
Try not to be rude, or too blunt, but don't sugar coat things so much that the real message is lost. If there's something on your mind or hers, it needs to be openly discussed. Even if it does not directly involve your relationship, it can still effect your relationship. For instance, if one of you is having issues at work, the stress can spill over into your relationship. Let her know about your stresses and successes at work. And allow her to feel comfortable doing the same.
Rule #13: 2 Minds Are Better Than 1
When decisions are made, whether big or small, it is best to consult each other and be on the same page. This will get easier as time goes on and you are more in tune with each other. You may eventually be able to speak on each other's behalf on occasion, knowing their tastes as well as your own.
Rule #14: Nobody Is Perfect
It is unrealistic to expect that your relationship will be perfect, since it is made up of two imperfect people. It is how you deal with each other's imperfections that determines the longevity of your relationship. It is likely that your strengths are her weaknesses and your weaknesses, her strengths. This is ideal, actually. It means you balance each other out.
Rule #15: Treasure Your Love
True love is a rare diamond that is not only hard to find, it is hard to hold on too. Just as a diamond needs to be polished and cared for, so too does your love. Anniversaries are milestones in your life together. Make the most of them by reflecting on what you love about each other, and your life together.
These rules only work if the love between you is mutual, equal, and reasonable. What starts out as attraction, can lead to a happy lifetime of love. You just need to know what path to take.
Friday, February 17, 2012
How To Catch Your Dream Girl: Part 2
In the first post of this series, I listed the first 5 rules to follow if you want to land some dates with your dream girl. These next 5 rules will help you take the next step: exclusive dating. If your goal is to be in a relationship with your dream girl, you need to let her know you are serious about her, without scaring her off!
Rule #6: Ask Her To Be Your Girlfriend
Notice that I did not say "Ask her to stay the night" . When you are in it for the long-run, sex can wait. Make love to her soul, not her body. . . yet. Take her on a sweet, romantic date, and ask her to be your girlfriend. You don't have to get down on one knee for this one. Just look lovingly into her eyes, gently hold her hands, and ask her.
Rule #7: Cleanliness Is Next To Godliness
Want your Goddess to see you as a her Greek God (figuratively, don't let that go to your head. either one of them.) ? Good hygiene and a clean car will go a long way! Women love things that smell fresh, or yummy, or intoxicatingly good. A hot shower, deodorant, and just a spritz of cologne. (Or perfume, if you are a girl as well.) That's all it takes.
Rule #7: You Have the Right To Remain Charming
Don't suddenly loose your charm, and never, ever, get complacent. It is important for both of you to maintain the magical spark that brought you together in the first place. If you are truly in love, it should naturally follow that the relationship will reveal the best versions of you both.
Rule #8: Quality Time
By now you should have some ideas of things you both like to do, that you enjoy doing together. Maybe it's walking through the park and talking. Or, perhaps you like to challenge each other to a Super Smash Bros. match on the Wii. Whatever it is that makes the two of you laugh together, or relax together, is ideal to make time for as often as you can.
Rule #9: Set the Mood
This time I am talking about the first potential sleep-over. Idealistically, at least one of you knows how to cook. If not, I'll get to you in a sec :). Plan a date at your house or hers, and cook a meal together. The way you interact in the kitchen together says a lot about your relationship! When you set the table, make it a candle-lit dinner. Serve a little wine, or sparkling cider. Now for the non-cooks. If cooking would ruin the date, order in some Chinese, or Italian.
Rule #10: 2 Become 1
Let this happen naturally. Subtle invitations are enough. Let her responses to your gentle advances be your guide. Rest your hand on hers for a moment during dinner conversation. Notice proximity of closeness that is comfortable for her in the kitchen. Plan a t.v. show to watch after dinner, and notice how comfortable she is with cuddling up to you. If she seems a little reserved, maybe she isn't quite ready to be intimate.
A lasting relationship is built on trust, respect, love, comfort, communication, and adoration. There must be a balance between you that makes you feel complete when you are together. In the next segment we will discuss how to keep your dream girl. Thanks for reading!
Rule #6: Ask Her To Be Your Girlfriend
Notice that I did not say "Ask her to stay the night" . When you are in it for the long-run, sex can wait. Make love to her soul, not her body. . . yet. Take her on a sweet, romantic date, and ask her to be your girlfriend. You don't have to get down on one knee for this one. Just look lovingly into her eyes, gently hold her hands, and ask her.
Rule #7: Cleanliness Is Next To Godliness
Want your Goddess to see you as a her Greek God (figuratively, don't let that go to your head. either one of them.) ? Good hygiene and a clean car will go a long way! Women love things that smell fresh, or yummy, or intoxicatingly good. A hot shower, deodorant, and just a spritz of cologne. (Or perfume, if you are a girl as well.) That's all it takes.
Rule #7: You Have the Right To Remain Charming
Don't suddenly loose your charm, and never, ever, get complacent. It is important for both of you to maintain the magical spark that brought you together in the first place. If you are truly in love, it should naturally follow that the relationship will reveal the best versions of you both.
Rule #8: Quality Time
By now you should have some ideas of things you both like to do, that you enjoy doing together. Maybe it's walking through the park and talking. Or, perhaps you like to challenge each other to a Super Smash Bros. match on the Wii. Whatever it is that makes the two of you laugh together, or relax together, is ideal to make time for as often as you can.
Rule #9: Set the Mood
This time I am talking about the first potential sleep-over. Idealistically, at least one of you knows how to cook. If not, I'll get to you in a sec :). Plan a date at your house or hers, and cook a meal together. The way you interact in the kitchen together says a lot about your relationship! When you set the table, make it a candle-lit dinner. Serve a little wine, or sparkling cider. Now for the non-cooks. If cooking would ruin the date, order in some Chinese, or Italian.
Rule #10: 2 Become 1
Let this happen naturally. Subtle invitations are enough. Let her responses to your gentle advances be your guide. Rest your hand on hers for a moment during dinner conversation. Notice proximity of closeness that is comfortable for her in the kitchen. Plan a t.v. show to watch after dinner, and notice how comfortable she is with cuddling up to you. If she seems a little reserved, maybe she isn't quite ready to be intimate.
A lasting relationship is built on trust, respect, love, comfort, communication, and adoration. There must be a balance between you that makes you feel complete when you are together. In the next segment we will discuss how to keep your dream girl. Thanks for reading!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
How To Catch Your Dream Girl
I have had more than my share of disappointment, anger, annoyance, pain, and every other negative emotion in one relationship or another. People just don't respect themselves or anyone else anymore. If you truly want to find the woman of your dreams, you have to think like the woman of your dreams. As a woman who knows exactly what I want, and has had to endure a lot to get it, I want to share some rules about dating.
Rule #1: Be Equally Appealing
Make yourself the kind of person who will attract the kind of girl you want.
If you dream of finding a career oriented woman, you need to be one of two things: an equally career oriented person, or a really supportive homemaker type. You need to put in as much effort as you expect from her.
Rule #2: Look the Part
If you want to land the girl of your dreams, you have to be attractive to the woman of your dreams. Get your ass in shape, eat healthy, dress nicely, clean your house (even when no one is coming over), and be visually appropriate whatever the occasion.
Rule #3: Actions Speak Louder Than Words!
You need to polite, kind, loving, generous, attentive, respectful, honest, open, reliable, and above all: Treat her as you like to be treated.
Rule #4: Show Your Feelings
You have them, use them! Use them properly! Spontaneous, romantic gestures mean the world women. They don't have to be elaborate, they just need to be sincere. If she likes flowers, buy her some once in a while just because you are thinking of her. Hold her hand when you are walking together. Open the door for her. Kiss her on the cheek when the romantic moment happens in the movie. Women in love appreciate the little things that show you truly care for them.
Rule #5: Talk With Her, Not To Her
She is not a child, a pet, or an army grunt. She is a human being with thoughts and feelings of her own. You need to listen to her just as much as you need to share your thoughts and feelings with her.
These first 5 rules are only the beginning. They only open the way for the possibility of a relationship. If you want to know how to start a relationship with this dream girl once you've started dating, you will have to come back later this week! ;)
Rule #1: Be Equally Appealing
Make yourself the kind of person who will attract the kind of girl you want.
If you dream of finding a career oriented woman, you need to be one of two things: an equally career oriented person, or a really supportive homemaker type. You need to put in as much effort as you expect from her.
Rule #2: Look the Part
If you want to land the girl of your dreams, you have to be attractive to the woman of your dreams. Get your ass in shape, eat healthy, dress nicely, clean your house (even when no one is coming over), and be visually appropriate whatever the occasion.
Rule #3: Actions Speak Louder Than Words!
You need to polite, kind, loving, generous, attentive, respectful, honest, open, reliable, and above all: Treat her as you like to be treated.
Rule #4: Show Your Feelings
You have them, use them! Use them properly! Spontaneous, romantic gestures mean the world women. They don't have to be elaborate, they just need to be sincere. If she likes flowers, buy her some once in a while just because you are thinking of her. Hold her hand when you are walking together. Open the door for her. Kiss her on the cheek when the romantic moment happens in the movie. Women in love appreciate the little things that show you truly care for them.
Rule #5: Talk With Her, Not To Her
She is not a child, a pet, or an army grunt. She is a human being with thoughts and feelings of her own. You need to listen to her just as much as you need to share your thoughts and feelings with her.
These first 5 rules are only the beginning. They only open the way for the possibility of a relationship. If you want to know how to start a relationship with this dream girl once you've started dating, you will have to come back later this week! ;)
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