I think they should do a comparison study of the thought processes, personal and intellectual growth, emotional well being, and overall quality of life of people who grew up with loving parents, some with different priorities than the others. Half of them raised on technology, and the other half raised on imagination. The techy group would represent today's kids who are practically born with an iPad in hand. The dreamer group would represent the time before when children didn't compete with adults for gaming time on facebook.
I think my generation was the last one who had the organic experience of learning to get along with your siblings through building lego cities, having to share the Tonka Trucks in the sandbox, playing tag with the neighbor kids, and cleaning up after our own toy messes. I can not pretend to understand why the majority of us decided that having to develop our imaginations as kids was such a bad thing, and that it would be better to let children run the house, and let technology shape our children.
I happen to be a rare deviant of my generation. I didn't sleep around in high school, wind up pregnant, and have a shot-gun wedding. In fact, I waited to give my virginity away until my early 20s, never had kids of my own, and have yet to find prince charming and get married. I like to learn from the mistakes of those around me. It saves me from staying in situations I am not happy with that have very little potential for changing.
I feel like parents these days are too worried about being their child's best friend or having their "me" time to be real parents. This results in the heathens we as a society have to deal with in real life. These kids are taking the bus by themselves at an early age, haven't been taught that "no" actually means "no", please and thank you are rare, and they rely on "their" cellphones before they can even interact with humans properly.
When and why did it become acceptable to let technology raise children? It's bad enough that so many people rely on nannies, babysitters, their parents, their siblings, or a daycare to raise their children! I realize that the economy is bad, but if you can't afford a family DON'T START A FAMILY! If you don't want kids, don't like them, or don't have the time for them, DON"T HAVE KIDS! If you can't write out a budget and stick too it, don't have your priorities straight, or still have the attitude, "I'm young and want to have fun", you have no business having children!
Your life can not revolve around your job, your hobbies, or your friends if you decide to bring children into this world. True, you need a job to pay the bills, and occasionally, you need some time to relax with other adults. Notice the key words: bills, and occasionally. Focus needs to be placed on things you actually need in day to day life. Healthy food, a safe home, nurturing home life, and structured play time balanced with age appropriate tasks around the home create the best environment for children to thrive.
Where does this strongly stated observation come from? It comes from 32 years of noticing the effects of different family upbringings on all of the children I have known. Starting with people I grew up with, kids I babysat, kids I watched all day while their parents were at work, kids I nannied, and kids I went to school with or encountered in daily life in the real world. I have seen what makes a well rounded kid, versus a spawn of Satan. I have also dated a few people with kids. I've taken mental note of why the behave better for some people and not others. Many times, they behave better for others than their parents. There are the occasional imps that are perfect for their parents, but think it's okay to be a hell raiser when their parents aren't looking.
It seems to me like there are a lot of very intelligent people from my generation, who decided to make really stupid choices in regards to raising children. They are brilliant at doing their jobs, but their children are last on the list of priorities. It is as if having children is cramping their lifestyle. Maybe you should have thought about that before deciding high school would be a great time to start having sex.
Marriage isn't a big deal either, apparently. If they don't like the first one, they can just get a divorce and try it again with someone else. Better yet, they cheat on their families with a younger person. Notice two things about that sentence. 1) When you cheat on your wife or husband, it is not only them you are cheating on if you have children. You are cheating on your family. 2) It is clearly not just men cheating, and more and more women fall for younger men these days. I for one think this is due to the "men" of our generation failing to act like adults. It has left women little choice but to take notice of younger men who act with more maturity and purpose than men our own age or older.
Children see and feel everything their parents do and say. Even more importantly, they notice and are effected by the things they fail to do and say. Children especially notice their parents' interactions with each other, and with them. If you set your kids in front of a television, computer screen, or hand over your phone for them to play with all the time to get them out of your hair, they learn that they can't live with out these items. Life revolves around electronics. They also learn that if they cry or behave badly, they get a reward. They get to play with mommy's or daddy's phone, or they get to watch movies, or play video games.
Typically this also means that when their mommy or daddy are using some kind of electronic, they get to do whatever they want. It's as bad as the parents of the kids I went to school with who were drug addicts or drunks. As long as they got to do what they wanted, they didn't care what their kids were doing.
I know I am not alone in my viewpoint. I have had conversations with people about this very subject. Usually, they are the ones who bring it up. People on the bus of different ages, my mom, people I've talked to on dating sites, people I went on dates with, and people at the store or the mall. It doesn't take a genius to see the effects of different styles of parenting on children, and by extension, society.
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