Over It

There comes a point when all creativity is lost. I have felt the same feelings (or lack there of) for so long, that it really does no good to try and express them. At the end of the day, pain is normal. A numb heart is all I've known. A vague resemblance to a living girl is all I have ever been. I can't pretend anymore. I can't masquerade as a living being any longer. I am empty and lifeless. Incapable of maintaining any kind of human connections. I wish people would stop trying to "fix" me. It isn't possible. If it was, I wouldn't be this way. Just let me exist, and stop trying to lift my hopes only to throw me down again. I'm not a fucking doll.

Confessions of a Gothic Heart

I awoke this morning with a country song stuck in my head: The Heart Won't Lie by Reba McEntire. (Don't ask how a Goth girl knows that.) I can not pretend I don't know why. There has also been someone on my mind. An ex who is still a friend. We have this habit of giving each other advice, which started before we dated. It's nice to have a sounding board and comforting shoulder. Just thinking out loud . . . . .

Update:

Sorry I haven't been writing lately. There isn't really anything gripping enough to write about. My life is at a standstill, it seems. It has been suspended in midair, waiting for some details to fall into place so it can move some place again. I hope everyone has something nice planned for Valentine's Day tomorrow.

XOXO,

Lexi