The Ups and Downs of Love

As you can tell from my entries, doing the right things in a relationship does not always ensure that it will last. Sometimes we just aren't meant for the person we fall in love with. Or they aren't meant for us. It still hurts, but we can learn from the experience. Make a list (either mentally or literally) of both the things you gained from the relationship, and the things you learned you could live without. In moving forward, remind yourself what things you could have done differently, and what you desire from your next relationship. Then, look for those qualities in your next potential partner, and cultivate the qualities you need to be successful the next time around.

Personally, I am working on defining myself outside of a relationship and work. I have a habit of letting my relationship and job be the definition of who I am. I am nearly 32, and realizing that is what I have done all my life, I want to change that. I am searching for the person I truly am, without the outside influences. That doesn't mean I am not trying to figure out where to find a job. . . I really miss working. It simply means that I will try my best not to let it be my defining point in life.

I hope these posts are helpful to someone out there. If nothing else, I hope it is reassuring that you are not the only one. Blessed be your personal journey.

Love Is Not Enough

With as many failed relationships as I have had, I can honestly say that they all started with love, and ended quite differently. No matter how much love used to be there, the reality of our differences quickly dissolved all hope of making it last. This begs the question: Why is it that I attract, and am attracted to, people who simply are not a good fit for me? Loving someone is such a huge risk! I still have the dream of someday being married, but I, now in my 30s, have to wonder if it will ever happen. Will I ever find the one person who fits into my life and has the same level of love and commitment that I do? I want to marry once and forever. Maybe that just isn't possible anymore.